Waking up feeling the best is a rare occurrence for me. Frequently I need to shift my mindset into a more positive, happy and calm state. Keep this simple list of reminders handy and choose something you like to do in the morning – or any time – to get you back on track.
Taking the time to get into the best frame of mind helps you take your best steps every day. It’s usually something so simple that will give you that little nudge to get you feeling good again.
- Remind yourself not be attached to the outcome.
- Be open to anything and attached to nothing. Each day is a new day and a new start. Start where you are.
- Be in the moment. Let go of anything that blocks you from embracing the here and now. It might be something so simple that you need to let go of.
- Give not get. Deliver not sell. If there’s one sure-fire way to feel better, it’s to focus on someone else. So focus on what you can give and you’ll instantly open up doors and feel better.
- Be grateful. Always, always always see what is front of you. Don’t focus on what if’s – look at what is and don’t miss what’s already in front of you worrying about what’s not.
- Get grounded. Finding a way to stop and get in touch with your senses, the earth allows you to take away the chatter of the mind and tune in with your body. I like to practice a few minutes of Qi Gong and go through my 5 senses as I do it.
- Let go of negative thought. Bring in positive energy and ideas.
- Put joy at the heart of what you do. Remember the big why, the enjoyment that you want your pursuits to bring you and steer your choices towards getting more joy each day.
- Don’t do it to be seen. Do it to be happy. If you’re in business, it can sometimes seem a constant struggle to be seen and heard. But bottom line, we do what we do to be happy, not to be seen. When we are happy, we do great things which get noticed.
- Move from your head to your heart. There’s a reason why we bow our heads to our heart. It’s so we can stop and hear what our hearts want, rather than being a slave to our thoughts.
- Don’t try and re-create the same day twice. Be nice to yourself. So what if you didn’t exercise today and you did yesterday? So what if you feel tired today and not as energised as you did last week. Accept each day for what it is and work from there.
- If you can’t talk yourself out of it, walk yourself out of it. Trying to think and worry and fix everything in your head? Go for a walk. Works every time.
- Look at things from a higher perspective. Don’t get caught up in the detail, step back and see things from a fresh view point.
- Focus on the feelings. The why. Not the how. The how can stress you out. There are numerous hows and they become clear when the why is in place.
- Start. Do something. Anything. Write. Walk. Talk. Move. Do SOMETHING. The best you can do is the right thing. The next best thing is the wrong thing. The worst you can do is nothing.
Reminders are the best way to keep doing the things that matter most – every day.
When you think you’ve heard all the quotes you can, another one comes along just at the right time. “If you’re worrying about what if’s, you’re probably missing out on the what is”
I heard this on a movie last night. It’s so true for many of us. And I think it’s where we might be at right now. It’s easy to get caught up in the future, worrying about ‘what if’. Or maybe stressing about what isn’t. The thing to remember is to bring it back to the here and now. Again. And again. And again. What is here and now. What is real. What is good. What is bringing you joy and contentment.
To appreciate what is, and stop worrying about what might be, we need to stop and listen for a moment.
Here’s how I do it in four (sometimes not so) simple steps.
- Remove the frustration. Usually there’s some level of frustration around how I’m feeling. Maybe I’m doing something you don’t want to be doing, or resisting doing something I know I need to do. Or perhaps just experiencing a feeling of discomfort that I can’t really put my finger on. First I know I need to remove the frustration by letting go, even if just for a moment.
- Release the fear. Then I can begin to release any fear that might be there. Usually it’s because I’m thinking too far ahead and I need to pull myself back into the moment.
- Follow your heart. By focusing on the hear and now, I can begin to feel my way forward. I can usually hear thoughts that are guiding me towards a simple next step. One that brings me simple joy. Even if it’s a really small one, it’s one that gives me a feeling of calm and contentment that I follow.
- Find your freedom path. Then I’m usually back on some kind of calm and happy track that keeps me moving forward.
This process usually involves self-care, being nice to yourself and treating yourself with kindness rather than criticising yourself for not having your shit together! Feeling your way through and not feeding your negative or fearful thoughts.
Here’s a few things I do as I go through this process.
- Walk. A ten minute walk will clear the mind and refresh your thinking. Perfect way to let go and listen.
- Qi gong. Grounding exercise to still the mind and body. I like to introduce a few simple mantras to set my intentions.
- Write. The best way to let go of frustrating thoughts, un-finished ideas and pent-up fears. No-one has to see them except for you!
- Have a cup of tea. My all time favourite. How can you not feel better?
- Do some yoga. Working through the nooks and crannies of the body has a way of clearing the same in the mind.
- Get up and move. Just do something! The worst thing you can do is sit and ponder, it will lead to a downward spiral that’s hard to get out of.
These work – every time. How long and how many you need to do varies, but if you keep them in your daily routine, make time and space for them regularly, you will find you are more centred, calmer and have more clarity to take your next steps calmly and happily.
Creating anything takes time, whether it’s a healthy, strong body, a profitable business, or a happy home – doing something once is not going to get you there! Learning to commit is an essential skill for anyone. I know it’s challenging but there are 2 things I know to be true:
1. You have to commit to a course of action you feel confident and happy with
2. You have to re-commit regularly – it’s the second bit we struggle with I think!
Constantly questioning your decisions leads to uncertainty, confusion, and doubts, which is not only unproductive but very unsettling and disturbing! Being able to commit, even for a short period of time, allows us to focus on the task at hand – even if it’s something we might rather not be doing.
I think many people these days have a tendency to avoid commitment. Don’t want a ‘lock-in contract’ at the gym, want to be able to change their phone regularly and not have a large payout! It’s the nature of life, changeable and fluid, which is good – but can be a little ungrounding. But without some kind of commitment, there’s very little chance of actually achieving an outcome! It takes time to create something, whether it’s a strong body or a healthy business, regular, consistent activity is required.
So what do you do if you’re on a path, or in a commitment that you’re not sure about any more? Making a change can take a while to work out and while you’re in the middle of deciding what to do, don’t succumb to fear, doubts and worry.
Here’s my suggestions:
- Put the question out there. Define what it is you need to make a decision on. Don’t brush it under the carpet and hope it will go away. Write it down. There’s usually 3 choices you have – accept it, change it or leave. If you can’t decide straight away, make a list of the things you need to keep doing in the mean time.
- Put a timeframe on making a decision. Decide when you will decide by!
- Make a small decision that you can stick with for a day, a week or whatever you know you can follow through with. It might be a decision on what you must do to keep going. Maybe minimise some of the more long-term activities and focus on the essential ones for a while.
- Make an appointment with yourself to re-assess it in a short-term time – maybe a couple of days, or a week or two. Whatever timeframe you can completely commit to knowing that you’re not going to be worrying for that time.
- Get on with your day, your week and focus on what needs to be done with complete faith that you’re on the right path, even if it’s only a short timeframe!
- It will help you settle, clear your mind and allow you to come up with a more long-lasting decision that you can stick with for a longer period of time.
Photo by Luke Porter on Unsplash